"Thoughts from Beth Henderson"--October 11, 1980--Forgiving & Priorities

Today my neighbor died who lived across the street. She died of cancer. Unfortunately, she had smoked quite heavily for a good part of her life and so she had cancer of the lung.

The reason I am writing today is that her death has reminded me of two important lessons I have learned in life that were really reinforced in my mind today.

The first one was that years ago I heard Steven Covey give a lecture reminding us to be the first to ask someone’s forgiveness, or to apologize whether we think it was our fault or not. There is a scripture that states something to the effect that before we come to the lord asking for something, to make it right with our brothers if we have had some disagreement etc.

Years ago this particular neighbor would bring her dog over to my grass parking to do his “duty” each day. Actually she would not bring him right to my lawn but just wait while he came over and did it. This really upset me because many times I would have my mother and mother-in-law to dinner and they would park in the front and have to walk across my parking to get into the house. Sometimes it would be dark and they would not see what was on the grass. So I went to the expense of putting in a cement sidewalk across one section so at least they could walk there in safety.

One winter day I happened to look out the window and saw her dog doing his business on the cement walkway as snow was on the lawn. I did not see the neighbor on the other side of the street and I went out the door to shoo the dog away and also threw a snowball at him to get him to move. I missed him by about 20 ft as I did not have my glasses on, but on looking up I did see her across the street. I went back into the house feeling rather foolish and debated what I should do. At the time I did not think they were Mormons. As I mulled the events over in my mind I thought if the missionaries ever came to her house some day, she probably would not let them in because of my bad example (of long suffering). So the next day I went over to her house and apologized to her for throwing the snow ball at her dog and the I told her as nicely as I could about that I did not want my mother and mother-in-law and other guests to step in it and her dog sort of had a habit of coming to my parking area. She was very nice and from then on she took her dog to the field and we became good friends. I shall always be grateful that I took that right step of apologizing first to her.

The second lesson that her death brought to my mind was that I should really put service to others before I do the many things that are pressing on me each day. I am grateful that two weeks before she died I did take her for a couple of rides up the canyon. The fall leaves were breathtakingly beautiful and I think she really appreciated the rides so much. I took her some pine nuts and bought her a bath mat that I heard her say she needed. But oh how I wish that I had done much more and I should have. The week before she died I was terribly busy and also Dianne and I and Grace, David and their children went for a two day trip in the motor home. I can honestly say my every minute on arriving home on Friday afternoon until Sunday morning was taken, but my neighbor died Sunday morning. And so the second lesson I felt was reinforced in my mind is that no matter how busy we are, we still have to set priorities and service to others should be right at the top. Some things just should have to wait, death does not. A chance to help or cheer someone doesn’t always come a second time.

I look at my messy home and I remember that God said, “My house is house of order.” Mine is not always, probably seldom in some areas and practically never in the library. But even among the good things that we could be doing with our time, we still have to set priorities and I honestly feel that God would forgive me my messy house sooner than neglecting someone in need. I hope I might always remember this. Harmon Rector once said, “Keeping your eye single to the glory of God” means doing what you ought to do when you ought to be doing it whether you want to do it or not.